Ropes I Know

April 3, 2008

Telling a Friend …

Filed under: relationships — Yeti @ 23:47

Today I told a good friend of mine that I have fallen in love.

“With [my ex girl friend]?”, he asked. “No”, I laughed, “but, actually, I once was in love with your (now ex) girl friend”. I know (because he told me) that he is prone to being jealous so I anticipated some kind of argument with him.

“When, and why didn’t she tell me about it? Why didn’t I notice?”, he asked, but only after he questioned me about the girl (or woman, rather) that I fell in love with just now (showing that he really is a friend, doesn’t it?).

So I told him when (last summer).

Also, I told him, “you (or she, for that matter) never noticed because I never showed it, you’re the first one that I’ve ever told this[1]. You’re a good friend of mine and never will I be held responsible (again[2]) for possibly having messed up a relationship in which a good friend of mine is involved (not after having reached a somewhat reasonable kind of personality, anyways[2]). I did, however, think (or dream or fantasize) of future times, provided you then would not be involved in a relationship with her anymore.” (not that I wanted or even suspected or tried to force their breakup in the near future)

“So I guess this is not something to be retroactively jealous of, rather I take it as a compliment towards her (and me, for that matter). But even if it where now, three months since I’m not together with her any more, I wouldn’t be mad at you, even if I felt jealous, which I surely would. I would rather wish her (and you) good luck for your common future, because I still love her and I only wish her all the best.

“So, thanks for telling me. But rest assured that I would have ‘killed’ you if you had ever tried to move in on her and take her away from me.”

“Thanks for telling me. I’ll remember next time ;-)”

I found this conversation rather astonishing, when I was his age (nearly 20 years younger[3]) I was definitely not so wise. Thanks, my friend, for understanding me so well.

[1] This was a lie, actually, he was the second one I told about being in love with his girl.

[2] When I was his age, I once tried to entice the girl-friend of a friend. I almost succeeded. Today, 20 years later, the then-betrayed “friend” and his wife are definitely my best friends. Because they both acted more responsible and mature than I was able to at this time. Thanks for that, too. You know who you are[2b].

[2b] Incidentally, this was the one I told about my secret love.

[3] Yes, I know that if he is almost 20 years younger than I am, as the brighter ones of my readers will easily be able to infer, she must be some 15 to 20 years younger than me, too. Sure she is, but at my age, I do not necessarily see this as being too young. Knowing this girl since she has been 5 or 6 years old is an altogether different thing, tho.


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